In Denial?

Okay, I have to admit that im finally missing the occasional 'annoying' miscalls, attentions and random bits of sentimental that had been said to me. Its my fault for acting cold to that girl. I should have given her my easi number but would i just continue to act cold against her?

It has been ages since we last contact through msn and i even kept a picture of her in my laptop. So am i being in denial all along? Or just getting myself drowned in a whirlpool of confusion?

Wonder of the shelf edge point

Sometimes I would question myself whether Geology is my thing or not. Though i made it through the first year, the difficulty level in the second year would be a lot more since the modules deal with deeeper bits!

Anyways, a bit of history here*closing my eyes & imagine* the fact that biology catches my interest buds is an undeniable truth. BUT, am i willing to do a course that deals with pure biology or has to do with biology? To be honest, i am not sure myself. Biology from my point of view deals with solid facts that you have to know and constantly reminding yourself as some of the theories can be easily forgotten. Just to end this biology-related thing, i am still liking biology so as a result i like palaeontology module in geology. I think there is a possibility that i just like seeing how animals behave or interact either in man-made or natural environment and not about the "inside".

Yesterday, I was motivated by my supervisor who's happened to be a structural geologist. I was asking about shelf - part of deltaic system. And he explained about continental shelf edge. As the explanation was progressing, i found out that the continental shelf though is not a big thing, it is actually interesting in itself. The question remains WHY. . . from my perspective, the bit that makes it interesting is that the continental shelf EDGE can 'move' depending on certain factors including sea level & rate of sediment supply. Then due to the conversation law, if you have low height delta with a sea level that stays high, there will probably be erosion taking place on the shelf region hence the delta will prograde causing the continental shelf egde to be shifted further. What's more interesting is that the continental shelf edge point can move upwards too without any process where sediments got deposited. Now, what can trigger such phenomenon? The answer lies beneath your feet! :)

Far far below the place where the worms and other deep soil creatures slither and crawling lies a mega energy of process called "TECTONICS" which can be the answer why the shelf edge point shifted upwards. This can be triggered via uplift! So geology actually deals with huge uncertainty of interpretations depending on how you imagine why they are like that and how can they be like that.Enough said, im tired.

The summoned Tears

Yeah. I have to admit. I did cry over the problem during the wednesday afternoon at the reading room. I felt hopeless. I felt its a big burden over my shoulders. Mixture of feelings consequently gave rise to tears that rolled down my cheeks. Its funny that when i tried to cry in uk, i just cant. But now im in Brunei, they can pop out from my tear glands. Luckily i was alone. Wiped off my tears and tried to make myself looked as if nothing happened. Then i went back to my desk.

Pinned down

I am feeling so down right now. I feel like I have thrown myself into a land filled with goodies at first but later, I am surrounded by ferocious beasts ready to chew me and tear my pieces apart. I even reached to the point of telling myself that it is a big mistake to involve myself with Geology and studying it in a University of my choice. Even worse, I reached the point where I start to visualize the "what if.." which is bad as Islam discourages one to do that. Another crazy imagination of mine is that Im not longer involving myself with the current things. You know, what if I am sponsored by different sponsorship.

Its not about the study. I am fine with the stress periods and all. Its just about something. Yeah something. Which i think I could not say it loud to the public. I am sorry. But I just want to let this out. Yeah saying this loud to people face to face would be more effective but the problem is that will there be many individuals who understand the situation i am in right now?

Its like a mate of mine may feel down at times but in reality I cannot feel the same just like what he or she feels at that instant moment. Rather than just saying it loud to every friends that i can get hold of and distract. Its better to let this out in my blog instead. Its like talking to myself. Me who really understands what Azree is feeling right now. I can just hope and pray for now. Being too rebellious would make my situation much more worst. Thus, I am pinned down right now. I am sorry if some of my colleagues noticed that I am moody or being quiet today. Now you know right. Thanks.

A series of unfortunate bits?

Good thing this time is that I am staying in a better house somewhere around the 'H' area. On the other hand, we're isolated from the rest of the scholars and there are no cooking utilities - you know, oven and the whole thing. There is no refrigerator at all. On top of that, the aircons in our rooms seems to be not working properly at all. So yeah, I didnt sleep so well last night. It was so warm that i woke up in the middle of the night and took some heaven & earth tea. Im going to complain this matter to the techinician later though just to clarify some bits of pieces.

So here i am at my desk blogging while waiting for my supervisor to call me and my colleague over his desk to be explained something related to our attachment.

Rolling love

I will be starting my attachment tomorrow. Im actually reluctant to be honest. Staying at home and spending with family are things that i really the most for now. Working's fine as its part of the agreement. I just dont like being away from the family. Maybe im the type of person who sometimes can get too attached to certain people or places.

Anyways i had been watching taiwanese series Rolling Love for during the last few days. It was really great. I just love it. Romantic. And what's even worse is that my taiwanese series addiction slowly coming back, inch by inch engulfing meself wholly. So i decided to stop after watching episode 7 =)

I think xiao shu will be with Leng Lie in the end. I do hope she'll end up with Michele instead though =p

Giving Up

Im getting tired with something. Im sorry. But i have to let this out sooner or later. I tried to send some texts through msn only to find out that i didnt receive any replies. In the end, im on the verge of giving up.

Masing-masing is just 'busy' with their 'partner' i guess. I dont care nomore if they dont have time to hang out or even do the reunion with me this year. Crap that stuff. I have many other friends that i can spend time with though i have to admit that im not that close with them. All i wanted is to berkesempatan to give bits of pieces to certain mates of mine. But judging the way how things are right now, I better leave them alone then. Alang-alang, i will just keep them with me or if i sesak, i would move to some alternatives which i thought of tadi.

Its just, i am annoyed =) owh well, some things are rather disappointing at times right?

Wywy with Jo & Iznan

Hanged out with two of my closemates this afternoon. Good thing Jo didnt mind to fetch me from home. Both of them were planning to watch ice age 3 at mall today and Jo was trying so hard to persuade me but too bad, all his efforts were in vain =p sorry guys. Plus,my mom discorages us kids to watch wayang too given the H1N1 situation.

So changed the plan to hanging out at wywy instead. It was great since i havent seen Jo in ages! But we still keep in touch via the internet though. Thanks guys. Do text me up if you guys are planning to bawa me hangout again yeah =)